Sunday, 24 January 2010

New directions

Having spent a quiet few days under Mrs QO's patient ministrations, made some notes for future action and experimented with different dosages of my latest meds (not only do they look good in a dry martini but you can get some excellent fizzing out of them if dropped into Newcastle Brown or Thwaites Bomber), I find myself at something of a crossroads.

The call of science is strong, and there can be no doubt that sacrifices are necessary in the quest to push back the borders of our knowledge. And yet... and yet... there is equally no doubt that should one's experiments go just a tiny bit wrong, vile calumny and contumely is heaped upon one's bowed head from all and sundry - and I cannot except my own dear Mrs QO on this point.

It is furthermore the case, as I was lately informed, that a Constable of Her Majesty's Metropolitan Police will be residing chez moi for some four days, doubtless to carry out special interrogation into recent events. I am hoping to dull his powers of detection somewhat with alcohol, but it is nonetheless another hindrance to further work along my previous lines.

It is of course true that my über-intellect is such that any field of study is feasibly open to me, and I have long been a believer that a generalist approach is a fruitful one. As Heinlein remarked: "Specialisation is for insects." Perhaps, therefore, I may for some time at least put my purely scientific endeavours to one side and expand my interests to other spheres.

"But what other spheres?" I hear you say. A pertinent question. Let me answer it with a few examples, to demonstrate to even the most meagre intellect the variety of my projected investigations. I will, for clarity's sake, group these forthcoming projects under some helpful headings.

Domestic chemistry and dietetics
I shall commence working to achieve the Perfect Cornish Pasty.

It has come to my attention that a local political leader may be a member of an alien species. This surely bears investigation.

Nursing in the 21st century
Having had some recent experience to form the basis of a study, I could perhaps follow this up with some in-depth interviews. (Now where did I put Nurse Desirée's number??)

Socio-legal engineering
I propose, perhaps once a week, to put on some form of special clothing and go out to administer summary justice to startled local ne'er-do-wells. Some of them may be aliens too, I suspect, given some of their behaviours.

Can hamsters get drunk?
We don't know, but it's going to be fun finding out.

So, that should give you some idea of where we may be going with the course of study and of course the blog. Do feel free to suggest other avenues for research.

1 comment:

  1. After studying hamsters under the influence consider watching insects. Wasps and other flying insects can get drunk on the tiniest dregs in the bottom of a pint glass. Hours of innocent fun to be had watching them stagger (it is the same when they eat rotten fruit)

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