Thursday 7 January 2010

Adapt and survive

The UK is currently enduring temperatures only 2˚ higher than the South Pole, and this old 1901 house has an R-value lower than that. I was conscious while enjoying my new breakfast product (sausage in a sock - it goes rather well with a poached egg, though I may investigate whether the spin cycle helps or not) of a distinct chill, and decided to save valuable energy today by switching off most of my brain. Since Mrs QO has not so far returned to her last-decade habit of a 5.30 bourbon, our experiment is still pending, so no valuable progress would thus be lost.

You probably know that the average human brain consumes some 20% of the body's energy despite representing only some 2% of the body's mass. In my case, of course, the factor is considerably higher, and I therefore decided to close down many of the higher brain functions for the day and lapse into what we may call a cerebral torpor, leaving active only sufficient processing power to keep the autonomous systems ticking over (heartbeat, peristalsis, coffee, cigarettes). Few humans have sufficient voluntary control over their brains to achieve this, but then I have spent time in East Anglia.

I wished Mrs QO 'good day' as she prepared to leave for work and mentioned my intention to her.

'Jolly good, dear,' she said. 'But how would we tell the difference?' And swept out.

I wonder about her sometimes.

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