Some residents of the East Midlands are reporting worrying symptoms following the arrival in the area of a Canadian singer-songwriter.
Said concerned blogger Mr QO: "I was fine until Monday and then this burly Canadian arrived and produced a bottle of Bunnahabhain whisky from his rucksack. Ever since then I've had difficulty getting to bed, and in the mornings I've had these strange feelings of intense dryness of the mucus membranes, a blinding headache, and a marked disinclination to work of any kind. I've not been able to keep up my blog. It's disgraceful and I blame the lax attitude towards immigrant workers shown by successive governments."
We spoke to a local woman who wished to remain anonymous but after a few drinks said we could refer to her as "Mrs QO". Said the equally concerned resident: "Get a grip, you drunken prat."
Neither Mr QO nor Mrs QO were paid for their interviews, but both asked where they'd put their drinks down.
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