Despair

I struggle to be enthusiastic about the 2012 Olympics. I want to be proud of what Britain can achieve, but can't help thinking about how the original budget managed to forget about VAT, causing a bit of a dent in the sums. Not an auspicious start, and things didn't get better as the optimistic estimates of sponsor income rapidly deep-sixed. And the logo was launched to almost universal derision, some of it in rather poor taste. Don't, whatever you do, follow all the links here at El Reg. It will only depress you.

But there you go, at least the building is mostly on schedule, which just goes to show that not every time you throw billions of public money at something it's all wasted.

However, tonight I saw the 'mascots' for the first time. Why an international sporting festival for adults requires mascots I'm not clear, but I'm given to understand that today's spectators can't watch sport without some twat in a kids' fancy dress party costume mollocking up and down at the edge of the playing area, so we have to have one. Or two, since it's the Olympics.

So let's welcome the official mascots for 2012.












Oh, dear Lord. These two apparitions are 'Wenlock' and 'Mandeville'. They have their own blog and everything, and you can see a terribly moving account of their origin on the official site. When I say 'moving' I'd like you to do some word association with 'bowels', and would suggest that you don't watch that video if you're feeling at all queasy to start with.

What demented mongtards were responsible for this infantile lunacy? Can we not have them thrown off Beachy Head within 48 hours? I quote MSN News: "London 2012 said it cost 'a few thousand pounds' to create the designs but would not release a figure." A few thousand pounds is terrifying enough, since your average pot-plant could have come up with a better design for no more than a few drops of water and a kind word from Prince Charles, but the fact that they won't release a figure suggests to me that they dare not release the true and much higher cost.

I'm not sure whether it's just a cruelly apposite coincidence, or a fiendishly clever ironical statement, but the single eye of each mascot is, apparently, a camera: "capturing everything I see as I go..."

How apt. Whatever happens in the Olympics gold medal tables, the UK is already assured of one particular success. We are the most CCTV-observed nation in the world.

Makes you proud.