Wednesday, 10 February 2010

Stuff you never knew you wanted...

... until you found it.

Ladeez and gennelmen, I give you....

Lightsabre chopsticks!!!

I'm sorry. I swore a terrible oath, at midnight, at the crossroads (you know, THE crossroads, had me guitar and everything), on everything I hold dear and sacred (oh well, there goes my pristine copy of Time Enough for Love) that I would never, under any circumstances whatsoever, use three exclamation marks. Even a single one is generally deplorable; using two marks one out as a candidate for secure accommodation, visitors Thursday afternoons only, no sharp objects. But three?

Still, flesh and blood can only stand so much. Sorry. Deal with it.

Mrs QO says I should put in a link to the lightsabre chopsticks. Otherwise, some of you may suspect I'm winding you up with a clever bit of Photoshoppery. But I think it's more fun to leave you in some suspense... will you check it out, or will you take my word for it?

All I'm saying is, the first person to find a restaurant in town that uses them may take me out for dinner.


  1. I've seen it all now. My 5 year old who worships noodles and Star Wars will also be amazed(but probably doesn't have enough cash in her money box for these yet.)I am compelled to tweet about this. (And I think you might have even been excused a 4th exclamation mark.)

  2. Thanks for dropping in, and welcome. But, at the risk of being a poor host, I must disagree... nothing could excuse four exclamation marks, not even the imminent ending of the universe. There are limits. I had of course already indulged myself with large green type, so I can't complain.

    From what you say, your five year old has an aesthetic sense that her income can't match, and I really do sympathise with that. I'm still there.

  3. What I want (what I really, really want) are light saber Chopsticks that make that cool buzzing sound and can actually kill (or at the very least render insensible) the annoying oik at the next table who is eating with his mouth open. Not so much Pizza Hut as Jabba the Hutt. "Feel that force, you slack jawed yokel".

    Mrs E.

  4. I'd have thought that the brisk insertion of a chopstick into the nose of the oik (tapping home with the peppermill if necessary) would do the trick. But don't waste one of the lightsabre ones, a plain wooden one will be perfectly sufficient, as well as being discreet.

  5. Lacking pizazz though, don't you think? I want to be able to strike, cobra like (Mmmmm, Cobra), so the schmuck doesn't know what hit him, and watch the realisation dawn in the last flicker of awareness as it stutters and dies in his eyes.

    Some might find this a little harsh for what might be regarded in certain Mongolian principalities the very height of soignee politesse (More Yak, Vicar?), but I would have to differ, because this isn't, you know, Mongolia. Death is too good for some people. I have a little list.

    Mrs E.