Tuesday, 22 December 2009

My theory...

... well, my latest theory, is one that has emerged after many years' study across a range of subjects including human physiology, behavioural psychology and Sex in the City.

As I'm sure you know, we all start as females. More precisely, the human ovum contains the complete genome, including an X-chromosome; only if a Y-chromosome is contributed by the spermatazoon at fertilization will the SRY gene contained within the Y-chromosome switch on the production of androgen, leading to the production of a male.

Now, going on from that, my ground-breaking insight is that another hitherto unsuspected gene, or complex of genes, is the cause of a further stage of that development. Viz: certain cells in the zygote that would have developed into the 'guilt and worry' gland (the meaculpa oblongata) in the adult female are genetically repurposed in the male and become the external genitalia.

Some of you may find this theory a little startling at first. Certainly, when I first expounded it to a group of Mrs QO's work colleagues after their Christmas party, there were one or two confused expressions. However, the enraptured silence and incredulous stares convinced me that this was an insight of the first magnitude, and that further work (and, hopefully, some major funding) were of crucial importance.

Consider for yourselves how many observable gender-based behavioural phenomena this theory explains. For example, when we say that women can multi-task, we are essentially saying that they're worrying and feeling guilty about several unfinished tasks simultaneously. Men, on the other hand, seldom worry about anything and, if they do, it's only about one thing.

In a future post I will bring you up to date on my latest phase of work which will, I hope, add some valuable experimental data to the research. In the meantime, you are very welcome to contribute your own examples, and all will be carefully acknowledged when I publish my paper.

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